It's been awhile.
Pardon me, for being hidden and secretive. At least, I can tell these thoughts in here. It is worthwhile for even a short period of time, I have seen you again even a little.
I still have "it". Even though how many times, I force myself to not deal with "it" and not comprehend "it", "it is still there.
Part of me is that defense mechanism, that shield I make of being cold and heartless is still there. The ultimate truth is, I am afraid of being hurt again so my alternate solution is to hide that wounded heart deeply, so that no one can play with it...
And who am I to hope for it again? to long for that mysterious emotion that even cold hearts still seek for...
You have somebody else and I pretend to be psyched about it. Anyway, that is my notorious skill, being pretentious and letting anybody have it their way. From afar, I notice you. It is embarrassing and that longing feeling of a reciprocated love is impossible to attain.
It is confusing yet I tend to satisfy myself to the idea of being friends. We are good friends and I think that is just what I am to you, a good friend.
In fact, if we have the ability to read each other's minds, I could have tell these things to you. Without any liabilities, the sincere truth.
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