Your friends are there. Same shallow greetings of the day and they go on with their classes. You like to go with them, however you are walking calmly and slowly. You watch them as they go in front of you, giggling at each other about trivial matters.
In front of others, you are the kind one (or too kind to be exact). However, you are the one who is hard to read.
Smiling to let your friends to know that you are happy pretending. Smile because there is a good joke or a boisterous laugh. For it is only a therapeutic remedy of your pretending soul.
You love the people around you, but sometimes, there is a such a thing as too selfless.Questions start boggling your mind.
What will happen if I don't care about them too much?
What will happen if I stopped?
What will happen if I change all of a sudden?
Will those people I love are true to me?
or Am I the one not being true to myself?
You sit at the chair beside the window, thinking. You wallow your own reality into your own thoughts crashing and making war. It is loud enough inside your head so why do you bother talking to them.
That's it. You don't know what to think anymore. You just shut your own mouth, staring at others blankly. As vague as your expression, your friends don't really know what's inside your mind.
The school bell rang. People are standing and quickly getting out of the room. You are the last one to get out because you have no one to share your silence with. You are imprisoned with that wall you build around yourself.
It's ironic isn't it? That wall you build for protection, serves as your own dark prison that leaves you misplaced and misunderstood.
Yet how ironic the situation is, you still hope for that someone to help you wreck that wall. You hope that some people will set you free from your own sanity.
Hope.
The sound of the word is beautiful already. It gives a tiny crack of that wall you intentionally built.
Everything will be fine. At least, the crack is significant already.
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