Angst

It's hard to see myself holding it shut. However, it is more difficult to not see you happy. I can sacrifice my feelings for you because you are happy with her. I cannot do anything, frozen on the ground bearing the screams of my conscience that say," Wala na kay mabuhat ana. Di ka ana, nalipay na siya."

I can hold it in but I cry alone whenever I think about you and my illusions that you and I can be together. I cry myself out in the darkness and preventing others to see my vulnerabity, my single weakness. I'm used to be that person who endures everything for the reason that I want to see the people that I love happy.

Though I have to congratulate myself for feeling again, the scenario is still the same. I love someone secretly. I waited for a sign that hopefully will come. Yet, I'm stuck in the realm of hope. It's stupid, Isn't it? I am too cowardly to tell him what I really feel because I'm terrified of the result I will get. I have been rejected and my heart has been broken many times, yet I still hide the pain and move on.

However, It's okay. As long as he is happy, I am happy even if not with me. Even from afar, an utmost distance, If he is happy, then I can be at peace.