I loved someone once but it's a long time ago.I lost count. I don't mean to be overly dramatic or anything but I shut down my heart to the fact that I have lived a life of emptiness and apathy. I view people as road signs on traffic. They warn you, stop you, slow you down, let you go, and let you wait. Moreover, like any other road signs, people are just mere objects that makes you move on. It is your choice if you want to go back to that road, or keep moving forward towards your destination.
My life has been a complicated and silent one. Many friends did not notice it because of my laid back and "naning" personality. I also thought that the thing that made my life complicated is I'm stuck and pinned down in my duties and obligations in my life such as studies and making my family proud. I remember in High school I'm having a mutual relationship with books and schoolwork. I was robotic, analytical and systematic. I have two close friends and a pen and a paper to keep me company.Walking is a romantic date with an invisible friend and thinking is our ideal conversation of how we get to know each other.
That's why I'm envious of how people say that "I miss high school very much, I wish that I could go back." Well, I just say that it's good for them but I keep it on my mind.
My mind and my subconscious. It's a personal sanctuary where my unresolved feelings and words are dumped and rot for a long time. When I like someone, I keep it to myself because I was too coward to say it. I hate it because I am good at lying and hiding my feelings, masking it with work and school stuff.
That's the past. It will always stay that way.
But I like to thank that one person who had the guts to make my heart open again.
Thank you.
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